Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
