Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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