she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
