I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
