I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
