I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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