i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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