I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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