So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize