Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize