Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize