He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
