Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
