he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
