so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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