You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
