oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
