I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
