then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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