How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
