Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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