Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
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There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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