Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
