i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
