Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
