You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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