Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize