I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
