we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
