Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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