it was like his penis was on wheels.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
