it's not cheating when I paid for it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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