she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
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Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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