I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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