I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT