Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize