It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
