oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
