On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
