no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
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Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
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That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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