Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
