white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
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