I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize