How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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