while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
