Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I am available for nakedness
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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