thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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