yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
