she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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