Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
