Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
