Pappa wants mamma naked
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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