So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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