I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
