quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
