Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
