If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
