So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
