My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My pussy is not your playground.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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