I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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